The Awakening

You may wonder how one ends up opening a yoga studio and giving mediumship readings, especially those of you who know me. It was around the end of 2022 when I had a bit of a dark night of the soul, when something happened in my life that knocked the wind out of me. I had suicidal thoughts and struggled to find meaning. Shortly thereafter, my husband and I were tired of the heat of Phoenix and we decided to travel full time with our three small children in an RV. It was a time of transition. We gave away most of our belongings, sold a little bit of it, and left some of it with the house that we sold, and off we went traveling around the southwestern United States.

Having three small children, and being around them all the time, running and yoga were my only sources solitude and mental space to breath. It was in Durango, Colorado, at Yogadurango that I first started to awaken. I desperately needed yoga, and the only class available at that time was a hatha yoga class, so I signed up. I was used to what I call the cookie-cutter style yoga classes, where it's just exercise - flowy, graceful exercise. What I experienced at Yogadurango was chanting, and focus on breath, and movement that wasn't quite what I was used to... I loved it. It opened up a whole new world to me. I used to benefit from the heart rate increase, the increase in flexibility, and the time away from the house. I had no idea that yoga had anything to do with spirituality. The next week, they offered a gong sound bath, and I was curious. Now that I knew there was more out there, I wanted to see it. I was skeptical that I would feel anything from the sound bath, but I lay there willing to experience whatever might come from it. As the sounds pulsed through my whole being, I was uncomfortable, but it was tolerable; I decided to wait it out. I was shocked when afterwards I was so incredibly energized, I couldn't stop talking! I was fascinated, and I imagine that it affected me in ways I couldn't even perceive.

It was about that time that I started thinking about going to India to study yoga. I started reading The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, Living Untethered and the Tao Te Ching. These books saved my life, and my mind. I also began absorbing every metaphysical youtube video I could. If you've gone down that rabbit hole, then you know there is a whole array of content, some good, some not so good. I had to discern what resonated with me and what was merely clickbait. The ones that stuck are Next Level Soul, anything by Ginette Biro, and Nicky Alan. I began to realize that some of my core beliefs were wrong. I had read most of The Holy Bible, and the Old Testament didn't sit well. How could our God who we are taught is loving and kind, also be so awful. Details like women couldn't go to church if they were on their period, or stories of war and torture inflicted on people by Gods people, or how about the part where Lot slept with his daughters. No, there were things, many things that didn't seem right. Well, I don't think they were. I also subscribe to the Youtube channel The Other Side NDE, where many people recount their near death experiences. All of the experiences are similar, varying here or there. The main similarities are that there is no hell, the feeling once you cross over is immense love and acceptance, we all have a life review and are essentially our own judge, experiencing how we have impacted others in this lifetime. Even the few who have gone to a hell, simply asked for God to save them and they were immediately lifted out and wrapped in love. I believe that they had the preconceived notion that that's where they were going to go, and so they did. But they put themselves there and also lifted themselves out.

I believe that all of the great figures from all of the religions are ascended masters. They were here to teach us about who we are and to help us ascend too. If you listen to the messages from the ascended masters, Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha, their messages are all similar. Love one another, do no harm, don't force, let go, live in peace with your neighbor, help the poor, etc. But then humans took those messages, and twisted them to gain power and control. The truth is we don't need a church, we have God inside of us. We are divine. We are so incredibly powerful. And if we flow like water, we don't need to suffer or control or force anything. Flow like water, recognize our own divinity, follow our intuition, allow the uncomfortable feelings to have a place in our body and then release them, release responsibility for other peoples' emotions and reactions - I have found these are the keys to my awakening and continued development.

Rishikesh, India February 2024